Zomie Queen

In a perfect blogging world, I would have posted pictures of my beautiful children in their cute costumes last week.  But while they are beautiful, and their costumes cute, I never did post them.  And the question is, in November, does it matter anymore...?

Halloween started this year for us on October 1st.  It takes almost as much prep work as Christmas.  We have boxes of decorations to put up, pumpkins to pick, and costumes to create.  Rob was a 70's guy in a lime green leisure suit made memorable with his blond feathered wig.  It was a thing of beauty.  He even wore it to ward council.  Sierra was a cave girl, and Kate was an angel. All of these were pretty easy to put together.  But Emma wanted to be a Zombie Prom Queen.  I have no idea where she got the idea, but there was no way to dissuade her, and believe me, I tried.  She had a vision and that was that.

Two days and four stores later, we had a costume.  A red lace dress from Savers, long white satin gloves, a big black curly wig, plastic tiara, and face paint.  But she needed a sash.  An identifying "Zombie Queen" sash.  I put her off for weeks because sash making never seemed urgent, until we were suddenly racing frantically from a swim meet to a Halloween party and she was sans sash.  So I ran to the storage room and got out some satin fabric, glitter and glue.  I was actively priding myself on being able to throw together a last minute zombie sash moments before a party- that is a feat for an amazing mom! And I was an amazing mom!

I held that belief until I realized at the party that I had misspelled zombie.  My daughter was a "zomie queen."  Oh well, maybe I was downgraded a little for the spelling error, but who would notice?  I was still a great mom at least... Then I returned home and discovered that I was not amazing or great, just dumb.  Apparently I had used the new kind of clear Gorilla Glue, not Elmer's at all, to pen my gorgeous sash.  And I had done it on my countertop.  And it was completely hardened.  I had just permanently etched "Zomie Queen" onto the countertop of my new house.  That's me...one amazing mom!

In case this ever happens to you, you can get Gorilla Glue off countertops with nail polish remover, followed by a little whitening toothpaste.  My countertop is now as smooth as can be, and at nighttime you can't even read what it says.  Sadly though, in the light of day, "Zomie Queen" glints off the counter still. 

During the whole Halloween prep period, I had headaches every day.  I thought it was just lack of sleep or the stress of Gorilla Glue, but then I realized that I had gone through most of a bottle of Advil, and found it necessary to carry a little bottle in my purse too.  And I couldn't remember anything; I had many Alzheimer's moments every hour.  Then the headache got worse, and never went away, even with Advil.  So I finally went to see the doctor, who informed me that my six weeks of suffering were due to a double ear and sinus infection.  This seems obvious now, but I never had a cold before the headache, and it didn't effect my nose at all.  Just my head, and ears, just pain, that's all.  And the pain was exquisite.  After I saw the doctor it just got worse, until the antibiotic finally kicked in.  But I am only five days in and my head still hurts, but not in the my-head-is going-to-explode-out-my-ears pain.  And my brain is still stupified.  Today in church I lost four games of tic tac toe to my six year old, and I was trying my hardest, it was really sad!  But I am on the mend.  I haven't forgotten where I am driving to for a few days.  And I have a great scapegoat for the Gorilla Glue Fiasco- I was out of my mind!